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1. Rosetta Lee - Agenda and Disclaimers

Added Mar 13, 2017 •

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you know two people from the same social group can feel completely different about remember of that so you may encounter somebody who's like I Am Woman hear me roar I'm a woman I'm a woman activist woman woman woman one and you can encounter somebody else was like you know that's an aspect of who I am but I don't think of myself as a woman sign woman leader I'm a woman in the world I don't like the fact that is highlighted and I was deeply curious as to why is it that you can grow up in society as a member of the same social group and yet completely feel differently about it and the more good morn has to do when I done any development and so it's happening in schools and it's happening in homes and so for me I realize I can teach about content but the more important work that teaching people to be confident in who they are and then be affirming of others whatever the difference engage with that and really think about what what are some of those pieces of our own Journey what lessons were we taught or not tot is more more and then thinking about so how do we parent what I done in my keeping the book keeping this idea of what we're discovering about young people when they notice difference in when they start incorporating Pisces into their psyche and things like that so what are age-appropriate ways we can support that identity Journey I saw a few disclaimers and food for thought before we serve launch into the contest I am not a parent I'm not here to say Embrace 15 identity positive a change agents in the world and the Third Rock in the world and that's why you should listen to it's more along the lines of because I have all this time for research I discovered a bunch of stuff and I'm totally have access to this information and so that's where I'm and the other reality is I I want to highlight an aspect of us may screen cultures approach to Parenting I grew up in Seoul South yes I have a very different idea of what it means to parent or raise children I grew up in a neighborhood where the attitude was all the adults in the community are raising so when I was eight and I would go home from my home to the corner store and come back and do what while running an errand for my grandmother if I was doing some Ramadan different to tell me what I was up to and what I was doing wrong right then I would come back grandmother or my mother about what  but there was also another part of me that felt absolutely like everybody add entry to my interest in mind right I felt very much held and when I move to the United States what I realize that is that you must mainstream parenting is private act and it's supposed to get an active Perfection I feel like the message her parents are you know if you're not taking Brighton prenatal drugs and like you know doing the right birthing technique and sending them to the right school and feeding in the right stuff and discipline exactly the right then your kids are going to end up dysfunctional and unhappy to die alone to be eaten by cats scary kind of America but the reality of those of us who have more than more than one child already knows you so worried about that first one in your learning a lot of lessons as you go and making mistakes and you think yourself okay the first child and I'm starting to get the hang of it I'm so ready for second child and then the second child comes along and you realize you answered that book out the window right and so how do we actually create a community where we can open about what we're noticing in our own kids what strategies have you tried to sign about me agreeing with you or all of us adopting the same strategy because the reality is my good growing up I knew that altimate lane the values were shared but the sometimes it was my parent who is able to deliver that message sometimes it was an auntie sometimes it was a sometimes it was a neighbor lady right so just this idea of how do we partner so that whatever the shared values that we are reinforced in Partnership between parents teachers and other and interested community members the other thing that I'm going to research which often the nature research is that it loves to create models and stages and descriptors and children don't fall in and so if you're hearing a theoretical model and you like my child doesn't the best that way there's nothing wrong with them right you know they they manifested this a lot earlier is that a problem you know there's a difference between the norm which is something that happens to tistic Lee common late to normal that's what's supposed to happen I talk fast I'm a Bostonian I can't help myself but I'm happy to be interrupted for questions I all post everything that I do online and so if you there's something in today's session that you want to have access to again or things that I'm referring to that you want to moron feel free to access the website afterwards okie dokie talking about an intersectional identity I think often times we talked about identity and we tend to talk about one dimension of identity and we tend to talk about binary we're going to talk about race and therefore it's black white issues we're going to talk about gender and Sky female and female we're going to talk about so she have my class is going to be about I don't actually get up in the morning thinking today I'll be Asian and tomorrow I'll be alone like all of these things are going on at the same time of these are all part of who I am and what shapes an age and religion sexual patient gender ability ethnicity and socioeconomic status  we're often born were born into that or were raised at  okay and so nobody came to I-15 instead of what category would you like to go a lot of early messages about Who We Are One Scooter about all those things usually happen in these uh circumstances so for example turn sap into my class status may change over lifetime we may decide to not practice the same fate that we were raised with at the same time we tend to either choose the Faith of Our upbringing to reinforce whose values or we practice something else as a rejection so there's a phone  we think about who we are based on that these are also in Toronto identities because depending on what group you belong to you experience the world very differently and US mainstream culture because some groups within each category experienced Privileges and what I'm talking about when I say privilege and it's so easy to find picture books and story books for little ones that feature people from that background often times School teachers reflect that identity and the curriculum has plenty of examples of how people like us are the makers of History the writers of great literature the inventors of Science and Technology when we turn on TV or go to the movies we see Temple representation of people right and then when we take a look at any field whether its industry or government or entertainment Athletics we see apple representation of like us and often and Leadership positions  notion of if you're talented enough if you work hard enough on if you try hard enough and you're a smart enough you can become anything in this world is a culturally reinforce message over and over again so that's what I'm talking about and that marginalization can come in the form of invisibility it's hard to find the storybooks the teachers the curriculum the media representation or Leadership Prep Plantation of people like us so sometimes it's in the form of invisibility and sometimes when we do see examples of ourselves it is a and negative and start like model model of the ground presentations a deaf child who turns on TV on seeds of death character they just light up but then the character is a comic relief character or like the whole story is like sympathetically based on how the core of their life is then they walk away thinking actually even worse about themselves right so sometimes the marginalization comes in the form of stereotyping which easily turns into prejudice termination and oppression and if you ever think to yourself I've never experienced marginalization I always say this the beauty of the age because when were younger we are possibly underestimated because of our age you're too young to know what real love is you can't fight us until you're that age and can't do that until you're this Asian you can't even apply for this job and told you that you're too young you're too young NFL lucky enough getting cold T still dating you have to give this up by that Aid and stop doing that by this age and you have to retire by this age or too old I'm a secret theory that for like 30 minutes when your 34 you going to be just the right age I'm not there yet please enjoy it now it's not that when you're born into certain categories make chili Daddy's automatically your life chances are determined there are some external factors how much privileging or marginalization you makes periods in the world how how your geographic location are Los  growing up in rural homogeneous Mississippi that is a reality now if you are working class in a working-class neighborhood you will be taught different messages about what it means to be working class curling up in a wealthy  and depending on like if you take a look at patterns around attitude surveys or bowling patterns or LGB she writes and immigration of those kind of things if you belong to one of those roofs and you're in a region where the local attitude is very much Pro or con then your life experience is going to be very daily experience is going to be different so geography matters also your appearance because depending on how you choose to communicate your gender or gender expression Conformity through things like hair or clothing makeup jewellery I don't want to life experience how close your physical looks actually conform to society's standards of handsomeness or beauty that matter you can communicate things about your culture or ethnicity through ethnically tide clothing like intake cloths or burkas  you communicate things stop the Legion or spear  who sings I symbols that you wear or religiously tide clothing like yamakas and Sikh turbans and hit jobs  are you from communicate presume things about Sophie economics  can you wear the brand name labels or not doesn't have to be real that has to look real photos and then when you open your mouth what happens what is your primary language what is your accent what do you communicate about your generational status because of your vocabulary like you call her hash Regional vocabulary do you call it a bagel and cream cheese and smoked salmon or is it to you a bagel schmear and lots you can communicate things about Percy because you met somebody who speaks like this woman I says this and that he says that and I says to him I don't need nothing from nobody you owe me Percy differently in this world the somebody who says might you please pass the butter this way next language battering culture I'm not convinced that the US mainstream culture value smart people as much as it values well-educated people who have very little a formal education but there are perceived and treated differently than somebody with a string of letters behind their name particularly from certain institutions right so so and then when we show up every day to the Saint Matthew's Parish School Community or institutional identities influence how holy welcome and authentic we feel comfortable to be and in what ways we feel less than in the community  solutely what are you a board member of staff member on the janitorial crew the head of school at cetera will influence how comfortable you feel like the whole self to the table what are this is your first year or you're in the community will influence if you are you know the coach of a championship-winning team or somebody who is like a irregular volunteer for a bird that people don't even know exist salad lose your sense of belonging and Authority in a community relationship to the Power Players who are the influential figures and decision-makers in a community and what's your relationship to them that can sometimes influence how fully you feel of the sense of belonging institutional as well because here's the reality is that at my school though I'm a still media organizational chart out at the same level as I like the bottom level of classroom teacher and staff member Janitorial we have a pretty horizontal organizational chart so I'm on the bottom wrong so you might think I have very little influence but I'm the last remaining founding back on team member I start up the school I'm a close personal friend of the founding head of school and II head of school and these days I'm seen as a national expert in diversity and inclusion so I have stuff at my school to do it Jane's room at onboarding process is happening smoothly if they have concerns or need that I use my influential voice to get those needs met and I can tell me about does not make my school a post-racial or post Covetous institution because the reality is most every day when somebody walks in through the door I am foremost perceived and treated as an Asian woman and all the stereotypes to come along  so here's the reality of identity pick up internal external and institutionalize that we all have  and I find that conversations often times feel like this we're all the same and diversity is about the different people and often the attitude is and it's about helping the different play some more like up so they can access the awesomeness that we are I'm just saying diversity is diversity is the norm rather than the exception are other forms of diversity that don't feel a full sense of belonging in our community in which case what do we do because there's so much awesomeness I swear I Can Fly

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1. Rosetta Lee - Agenda and Disclaimers

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