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3. Rosetta Lee - Privileged Identity

Added Mar 13, 2017 •

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privileged identities the journey looks kind of like this so you start home and place of it self-esteem again right you're beautiful wonderful anything you want to set your mind to and worked or you can accomplish and that's true for everyone else so that's the mess the world feels good and fair  an encounter that says maybe people who are not like you don't get the same kind of shots or the same kind of acceptance right maybe you watch somebody get made fun of and you're not sure what it is about that made that I'm experienced that maybe you see somebody working really really hard but they still can't make ends meet in a way that somebody else stop. That's right whatever it is when you encounter a world that says Navy people outside of your group don't get the same kind of fairshake often times it in the confusion of cognitive dissonance that says I want I thought I was living in a good and fair and meritocracy this world and I'm finding out at says maybe not and but distance is so painful that song attempting to reintegrate 4 yd tonight  and this is where folks will say things like well if that Community would just work harder they would have made it in this time like every other this is where folks will say things like there's no sexism in the workplace we don't we have a derf the female leaders because they leave the place to go have children or raise families and that's why we have address of female leaders there's no sexism in the  whatever it is there seems to be a  explanation that allow you to say the world is fair and these inequities it exist  but at some point will be there for decades but hopefully there's RB Maybe this is where a lot of men like they're like journey into like feminism happens because they have a daughter right this is where white parents have like a whole racial identity drained again because they just adopted a child of color right this is where like folks will go on a journey because their child brought somebody across a difference that they want to marry or like they became good friends with somebody whatever it is the relational peace this is where like you see folks like you can gridge sudden like totally be pro-lgbt soon as his daughter comes out and so that can happen is because of some irrefutable piece of evidence maybe you find out adult transgender folks so full sore affirmed agenda RVs under that gender they went to school they got a job and they worked in that field for a while and then they transition right so adult transgender females to males on average their salaries go up an adult transgender males to females on average their salaries go  we're talking about people of the same educational background the same work experience sometime the same personality and yet and there is a statistically predictable salary climb or decline if that's that is and what could be or maybe you counter repeated over and over again evidence that says people of different racial groups engage in illegal drugs at the same rate 18% needle-like 10 - 18% in every single Community racial group engage in drug activity and yes faith of the incarcerated population would mirror the mainstream population but you like at the disproportionate jailing of black and Latino males stop men and women clearly it's not racially-based what could it be so whatever it is that written  Big C acknowledge that there are some systemic things in place that not everyone gets to see a fair shot okay and the shot that I've had in my life are not the same as what folks in March Life Communities get I didn't contribute to it happening and yet I see that there's a system in place where I gave these everyday benefits or benefit of the even that others don't get on that makes me feel bad  now is tell folks has a great place to start cuz it lets me know you're good  even if benefit from a terrible place to end because I have never known anyone to be like I feel so guilty I can't wait to change the world like it's not a motivating and so hopefully hose can move into a place of acceptance and action right where it's not my fault but it is my responsibility I can contribute in to making the world a more just and inclusive play and because I'm a member of the privileged group actually may have more access and influence so that I can use my voice to work on systems and then immersion in immersion a lot of folks actually recognize that the way of systems of bias turn off parade is that it impact negatively a members of the privileged group as well so for example a lot of white European Heritage folks are likely give up their ethnic identity they have to give up language and  customs and belief system so that they can get rid of it and simulator America like I know I'm Italian and German and Swedish but I don't know what that means in terms of language I want to reclaim my lost ethnic identity right this is where men for example recognize sexism actually puts men into a because if you say there's a distinct fine here in called male and female and everything that's associated with now this is lesson then as a man you're not allowed to access anything but could be categorized  so this is why you know from Sam they experience that dip in self-esteem because they're  they can be emotionally expressive they can't be a tender they can't ask for help they as a as a third grade boy told me it's not fair like girls can wear whatever color they want and I have to wear blue or green or brown update know that masculine are you let us their options right this is why Middle School boys who developmentally speaking mean and desire intimacy just as much as Middle School girls ready for intimacy but they're not ready and girls can express that love however they want alright girls can say I love you I'll be your best friend forever they can hold hands you like they don't even have to find a separate see if they can squeeze it all over each other set affection however they want Middle School boys I watch Middle School boys who clearly their best friends just as much and they're like I love my best friend write what I want them to have access to more than that right this is why you see an uptick in thing like sexual harassment or Dave related on sexual violence in high school and college young men not because they're wire for predatory behavior because in a world that says this is what masculinity is there actually like engaging in behaviors that protect their masculinity clothes that the way boys protector masculinity is to either Express over homophobia or objectify and Target theme this is why Progressive dad's actually have the hardest time when it comes to discipline because they're trying to be equal part great parenting and they don't want to be the wait till your dad gets home kind of like strict and emotionally disconnected dad time they've not had too much modeling or practice with what it means to be a relational and loving authority figure so they tend to in the research really pendulum back and forth between way too permissive or way too strict and so the kids actually get because there's no  this is why often times for men when their purr your start whining down just what's behaviors like leaving their same-age wives for younger women or like buying the fancy sports car again because this is a response toxic masculinity Coach Joe Airman talks about masculinity and the societies to find it you need to be have you in the ball field in the bedroom and in the boardroom and if you're not theirs  that's a pretty limited way to earn your did you some of that work through emergency Motion in interation gets to that point where it's an important aspect of who you are but it's not the primary lens through which you see the now when it comes to our privilege ID Journeys we don't have to go on them if we don't want  like the world will not force us to engage there are some  the score on that journey and actually bring jet their kids who just came out or disown the the the child's will brings no can somebody cross difference  there are times when you can actively resist going on this journey and in other ways like we are not given please interact meaningfully across difference and we're not talk explicitly in schools or in the hall  please like me don't have to go on like for me what are the Sea of what it means to be an able-bodied person in this world I certainly did wasn't that growing up for me I think I want on this journey next I work with a profoundly deaf man when I was 19 years old I think my attitude toward disability was always like a so hard not to be able to hear it was not an authentic human relationship my friend again born profoundly deaf his his parents actually refused to treat him like a deaf person so he had to learn how to lip-read everyday conversation so that he can understand he had to teach himself how to verbalize in a way that hearing people could understand his speech he taught himself America tell me which so that he can communicate visually for those occasions when the breeding or vocalizing would not work she was self-taught in so many ways Anatomy physiology like pilot like flying airplanes you name it like really in there and you know I was so amazed and buy him and I'm like I don't understand like you clearly you love medicine so much like how come you're not a medical school like sort of become a doctor right she told me I would love to go to medical school I would love to go to medical school but they don't consider American Sign Language some like you have to somehow figure out how to light pick up Italian or for Spanish so that you can go to medical school and that's just fundamentally not fair like like I don't even think I could feel I just hit like righteous anger I just like leaves right over to their as I am sing like ability-based inclusion work and I'm throwing my weight around in terms of like you know I I I what's right and I always ask you have obsessable rooms do you have things like visual fire alarms and do you have Braille but the answer is no I said okay I'm going to look for another hotel because I really like the support chains that are accessible to his people with as much as I'm passionate about doing that even if it means I like stay the heck out of the way someplace I don't think I would have gone on this journey once in fact I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have so that that's the nature who is like 8 years old and has been thinking about their identity for a long time  and they've been thinking about how is the world like telling me started how do I negotiate and there you can have grown ups who are barely beginning the journey or haven't even thought about it funky thing about identity development is you know I am in multiple places around my various identities and thank you 12 year old kid and you have a good idea of what their identity journey is life because we haven't done intentional in the home and in schools to really support that drinking okay this is why we encounter so much conflict across difference I think Singapore is liking or hating difference but because there aren't  I know that as always already many of you were like oh that totally describes me in college do I do to have a chat with a nearby neighbor or two and think about the following like how did you come to understand songer identities did somebody like explicitly did you have an encounter or relationship that like help you progressed into a new way of thinking about who you are part of the reason why I really want this work with yourself before I talked about how we can support kids is often times overlay our own Journeys onto our young people like we put our own baggage on two kids instead of paying attention to where they are like when I first started teaching Asian-American remember I remember like being really militant about like make people pronounce your name right no don't take on American nicknamed you think I was born that was about me not about what they needed or were they were and so I think it's often important to recognize how did we understand who we are okay so I got to do is  Queen of the swamp display the slide and I invite you to turn to a nearby play Branch at about like soap what were some of the ways that you learned about your various identities okay so go for it and will come back first

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3. Rosetta Lee - Privileged Identity

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