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4. Rosetta Lee - Identity Development Journey

Added Mar 13, 2017 •

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Swahili for like you're going to make us talk for that long and then after 10 minutes and hopefully in talking you're already identifying ways that you're positively supported and ways that you were short left hanging out there right and so for me I find that often times we find that sense of positive self-identity a farm and resilience and power usually in spite of our life experiences rather than be  and so for me it just becomes what are we the ways that say you are absolutely a firm for who you are and what was that open up and turns of young people's three four beer  turn off the world in ways that are truly authentic to who they are and letting them blossom into the awesome people that they actually are rather than spending a before we go on to the psyche of how do we intentionally support the identity Journey what are there any questions as I came out that you'd like to share with the larger group  yes I don't really have a question so can call Stank sunroom you left him with you for the first time ever outside of our home and  just meeting her and having a all of a sudden make things okay now why that was important to us it is not New York city so we were concerned about our son's experience on the day today my husband came from New York I went to title ementary school my friends but a box of crayons and it was  an ongoing conversation and struggle for my husband and I to figure out whether within the community you're on the right path with him and meeting her made it okay because there are many of us who again the way the world assured sometimes opportunities for our children me like transplanting them into an environment where they are not or reflected and what is the cost of that or something benefits of that there are some you are able to negotiate add balance and there are some kids really struggle with that balance and so for me working with a lot of Independent Schools and like don't rely on the kids too make the environment  because the reality is what are we like it or not a lot of Independent Schools were started to to create homogeneous environment like I like saying they were beautiful pools design for play at some point we said we should totally let the birds and rabbits in here and now will I grab is not thriving and I'm like awesome but we're just expecting them to be good swimmers and not ever class certainly with his friends it had to be stated between my husband and I that this is physics  what is his point of reference you talked about earlier my husband and my son carry literally tons of on the day today you know because of my experience because of the the box of crayons because of my expectations what I had to do as his mother certain is to take a couple steps back and validate their experience validate their point of reference and to know that because his mountain passes in a mirror of my own it's no less valid it's okay if he's happy leave your baggage at the door I mean and now my son school and he's also half white half and we were one of the first so there is all I can so yeah and I'm part of it is part of it is there are times when I am able to in that moment or no-go is this about here is this about that and then like addressed that way sometimes I totally verbal diarrhea and do what I do and then go you know what  I need to backtrack and start lower angle how are you doing is it is it fun for you are you making friends is there anyways that like you feel like you're like more included or less included like I just want to I just want to know that you're having a great experience right but the reality is like the nature of bias and especially internal internal bias is that we don't necessarily know that weird and this is why I like the partnership of community is so important because watching folks and you know I do a lot of affinity base work because what I realized is that how I want to support Asian-American students like my experience as a Korean Arkin like immigrant for kid in a wealthy neighborhood like it's very unique unto itself and how I support kids will be very much influenced by that I would how to say I'm the kind of educator that can be jill-of-all-trades that like him to have a skill set so dress whatever the need but the reality is I know my experience the best so like I could get engaged with like Asian Affinity groups to say it like what are the ways that you negotiate supporting Asian America how what are the various ways that they show up and for like me and for multiracial children often times one or more of the parents like their experience race is very different than the child there's like what what is the symbolic race what do they look like what is the home culture what's the language spoken at home what's the acceptance of the extended family what's the sociopath background like things will influence was the multiracial person which identity they claim and how they feel about that and how they Menifee spray and so it's about that like partnership in community I wish I could say if you take two pills and you know loss avoid up overlain baggage but that's the nature of bias is sometimes important that we recognize that we have them and ask questions and pause more than it is that we come up with a perfect way of avoiding it  did you want to say I hope you don't mind I'm videotape play me some plan to put it on the parent portal so if you've asked a question and if you don't want me to let you owe me to edit you out let me know if you're okay with that so that's all sorry yes oh yes but I think that you know for me I have a twin sister and we grew up one only I didn't have parents who were able to sit they they threw me in the pool of cultural they wanted me to have a cultural language that was cross-cultural but they didn't necessarily know how to communicate how to help me get there so I just internally struggled negative is messages that I got throughout my entire  and so with my daughter I really try to slow down and listen because if I you know I I can go there if you like your girl I think that's what would have been helpful safe  Brenda strong you know and then there are times  that at all I thought about racer it's about navigating friendship that's not even late and so I think what I have learned from having the structure there was just the slowing down Mike Mike daughters , and kids are way smarter sometimes credit for and sometimes she's a cry because tall what is often times when our young people experience pain like all of price for the research around like racial it's around race socialization but I think it's true with any kind of Mars identity is that often times when we teach young people about what it means to be a member of a marginalized group that learning is precipitated not by the Young who's pain but because of the adults like they experience any semitism at work where they experience homophobia in on the street or they experience sexism when they go home and they talk to their young people about you know what  right again that's about that I'm headed people and so if you respond so absolutely so when it comes to what's your name I think a few things that are important that we instill in young people is this notion of we all have identity frame okay roll through

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4. Rosetta Lee - Identity Development Journey

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